Favorite Halloween Costume of All Time - "Denorex Man"

I was once the "Denorex Man" for Halloween. My shtick was waving my hand around one side of my head illustrating the fact that one side was seemingly doing something important to my dandruff because I could feel it tingling. So I had shaving cream on my head with a line down the middle.

One side tingle....... The other side, not so much.

Some people did not get it, or were too young to appreciate that reference to a pretty longstanding ad campaign. Those who "got it", went apeshit for it. Random dudes high five-ing me and screaming and pointing while jumping up and down spouting drunken gibberish in the street.

I chose to wear a robe because I have 3 nipples.
Other than that....pretty authentic.

Happy Halloween to every "Slutty Sarah Palin" - God willing there will be plenty of em out there.

HobokenSandwich wants to play a little "Angry Disenfranchised Voter" with the First lady of Cougarland. C'mon, what do you say Veep? I gots' mad Lionel Ritchie up in my crib. Dig? Cuz I aint afraid to smack that ass. Payback for dimpled chads is a bitch. Holla at your constituent, baby!

Yes this has to do with sandwiches. Read between the lines.

Fresh Tortilla Grill - Flesh Toltirra ?

Ok, this will be the height of political incorrectness, but cannot be ignored. There is an amazing trend of Mexican restaurants with Asian Owners and Employees. I have seen it in the citah, and here in Hoboken.

Case in point: Fresh Tortillas Grill on the 500 block of Washington Street. (Hobo)
Make no mistake, I love this place. They make tortillas fresh for every order, and the tacos are great for mixing and matching. Beef, chicken, guacamole, chili, and many, many other choices. But there is a certain "Huh?" moment every time I walk in and remember that I am about to order Mexican food from an Asian proprietor.

Don't get me wrong, as long as my foreign food is made by a foreigner, I am happy. But this trend is unmistakable.

So head over and check this place out. I recommend the "Chimichanger". Which is a lot like a "chimichanga" but spelled the way it sounds in this particular establishment.

My theory has always been that when they ordered the signs/menus for restaurant it was done over the phone. And the printer was too stupid to know that "Chimichanger" actually meant "Chimichanga". Or perhaps the printer was also Asian, so the mispronunciation went unnoticed.
HobokenSandwich sees no colors. Only taste.
(cue gong sound effect)

Cafe Con Leche - Rocket Fuel For The Soul

Great culinary pairings of all time:

Peanut Butter and Jelly
Milk and Oreo's Steak and Egg's
Beer and Pizza
A Line of Honey from the Small of a Woman's Back all the way Up to Her Neck

and finally
Drinking and Driving

We are referring of course to drinking coffee. We all know that drinking "road-sodas" was made illegal sometime in the recent past. So don't do it.

But coffee is fair game to the driving and consuming aficionado.
When I need to get fired up for a road trip, or simply to avoid the demons that visit in my sleep, I turn to a big fat cuban coffee.

Best cuban coffee in Hoboken - La Isla 1st and Washington

You are free to disagree. But you'd be wrong.

Semi Annual Pic of the Week

Dames at 307 1st Streeet.

HobokenSandwich

Ibby's Falafel - Jersey City

Ibby's is reknowned as the best falafel spot in JC. I cannot confirm or deny this claim, but I like Ibby's. Though I admit to being a sucker for ordering chicken instead of schwarma (oh god yes) meat.

I am not actually a fan of falafel. Which if you don't know is some fried veggie stuff. Other people seem to be quite fond of this. Of course, other people seem to be quite fond of network TV as well so f*ck it.

I, myself, me, is/am a huge fan of lamb-ish meat that drips with loving goodness. Yes, schawarma. I want to meet a woman named Schawarma, so I can love her unconditionally.

I long to take Schawarma away from her workaday world and introduce her to a life of adventure and romance. The connection is undeniable. Schwarma draws me into her world. A world of salt, and grease, and Mountain Dew.

Finally, it is time for us to be alone. "Yeah, Schawarma baby. Daddy has all the time in the world for you my sweet, sweet, lover. Come to me. Let me envelop you in a pita of longing. Let me surround you with creamy diced tomato's and assorted vegetables in a zesty tatziki sauce."

HobokenSandwich has no love to give.
Schawarma has my heart.

Ibby's - 303 Grove Street, Jersey Cit-ahh

Philly's Cheesesteaks - World Series Flavor on Washington Street

- Sitting here in my Eagles Jersey
- Celebrating World Series Game 1, 3, and 4 victories by the Phils
- My arteries harder and harder from one moment to the next

Friday was the day I needed to feel the warm embrace of familiarity. A Philly Cheesesteak.

Philly's at 523 Washington Street.

Soft italian roll, cheese and shredded meat goodness, in a melty bit of fantastic.

Why do I use the word f*ck with such regularity when describing sandwiches? Because I am a Philly fan. Thats why.

HobokenSandwich cheered when they took Michael Irvin off the field in a neckbrace. And Hoboken Sandwich threw ice at Santa Claus.

Pasta Fazoooole - Fillipos on First

Stopped into Fillipos on First for an onion slice. Anthony prepared a nice bowl of the pasta faggiole with some parmigiana and basil. He slides it infront of me and says "A little pasta fazoole on the house. Enjoy."

As a sandwich celebrity I am often privy to delicious freebies. But this was a great call on Anthonys' part. It was chilly out, and I jumped into that bowl of soup like Greg Louganis. (meaning I was fully shaved and in a Speedo)

Long story short, hearty and delicious.

And only one of many homemade soups offered at Fillipos on First. Anthony suggested a Thursday visit where he actually sautee's the soup of the day with sausage and puts it over pasta. "Holy shit!" I replied.

HobokenSandwich is secure in its sexuality.

Bagels at Ganache Hoboken - what a mess

The bagels at Ganache are my favorite. Gimme some peanut butter y jelly on a toasted plain, or whole wheat bagel. Thats what I'm about. Throw a big ole' whole milk into the mix and you got yourself a completely legit snack.

The bagels are very substantial and "meaty" if that is an acceptable adjective. Of course this "meat" I refer to would have to be kosher. This is a bagel, after all.

Our only complaint is the fact that this little snack will leave you stickier than a fluffer working a double shift.

Not to belabor the point, but see how the bagel resembles a glazed donut? That is the sweet, sweet jelly enveloping the hearty whole wheat.

Hoboken Sandwich is here to make inapropriate porn references.

God-D*mnit! Can I get some f*cking bread?

Seriously, good bread should be served on every corner in this country. Everybody should be obese. I suppose 1 out of 2 aint bad.......only the bread is total crap.

Either way our bread choices suck worse than a two party political system.

Next time you are in the grocery store count the number of ingredients on a loaf of bread. (It should be noted that we are particularly excited about the word "loaf")

If your bread has more than 4 ingredients on the label it is complete shit. (not counting seeds, or god forbid, nuts/fruit) Even worse, if the second ingredient on the label is High "f*cking" Fructose Corn Syrup, you are a communist and you don't even know it.

Bread is:

Water
Yeast
Flour
and sometimes
Salt












The bread in your pantry is crap. I say this with the full knowledge that the folks at Wonder (shit), Pepperidge Farm (shit), Thomas' English Muffins (shit), or Lenders Bagels (shit) will try to have me killed for my views.

I do not care about my fate. I care about sandwiches.

Seriously people this is America. WTF happened to the richest country in the world? Why the hell do you allow yourselves to be treated like third world peasants? (who ironically tend to have very good bread)

Show some respect for the "Greatest Generation" and pull yourself up by the very, very, very, very, very short bootstraps they left us. Or ask your grandmom to give you an advance on that $12 birthday check and pick up a loaf.

Good bread: Tonys bakery, Calandra's, Dom's bakery, Antique bakery, and many others in Hoboken alone.

Hudson Tavern - Ultimate Breakfast Sandwich

If you can excuse the flaccid pickle and pay attention, I have a declaration to make. The Hudson Tavern boasts the most delicious and expensive egg sandwich in town.

The "Ultimate Breakfast Sandwich" is composed of:

2 Eggs
Taylor Ham
Onions
Mushrooms
Cheese

Jammed in an Italian roll because good Americans dont eat ciabatta bread.

I say shove your ciabatta bread and be a man. Nay, be an American.

Honestly, do you think the "greatest generation" was pussy footing around with ciabatta bread? Crissakes, no. They were too busy slapping Mussolini and Tojo in the chops with some sliced white bread and government cheese.

The Frozen Monkey Egg Sandwich is the best egg sandwich for the money in Hoboken, but the Ultimate Breakfast Sandwich at Hudson Tavern is the only choice if you have $10 burning a hole in your bulging pockets.

You can use all that cash you socked away while ruining the lives of hardworking American families' in your job at Ameriquest. Well, enjoy your sandwich, you scumbag.

HobokenSandwich is here to tell you that you ARE a bad person for selling subprime.

F*cking Scumbag.

(And if you did sleep at night, you were just too dumb to know the role you played. Scumbag.)

Hey Sweet Cakes! Sweet Cupcakes that is......

Delectable, sumptuous, decadent, even sensual. These words have all been used to describe me at one time or another.

On another subject alltogether is the proliferation of cupcakes in this mile square. Way out in front of the charge is "Sweet" located at 4th and Bloomfield. Best cupcakes in town.

Yeah, I said it! What?! What!?
Thats what I thought.

If you disagree please feel free to submit your choice of fresh baked cupcake in an overnight envelope and express it to City Hall, care of Mayor David Roberts. His excellency is our secret cupcake taster at HobokenSandwich.

David is a sensitive and oft misunderstood man. Hoboken is a tense political climate, besieged by partisan conflict and saddled with the reputation as the single most corrupt municipality this side of Mexico City. Every decent man has his threshold. When Mayor Roberts is at his wits' end he likes to lock the door to his office and dig into the small refrigerator he keeps hidden in the wall behind the large portrait of Jackie Gleason.

It is in this small fridge that the Mayor finds his refuge, his peace. Somewhere next to the big old fashioned glass milk jugs there is a collection of overnight envelopes stuffed with smashed cup-cakey goodness. Like a small boy, the Mayor is calmed by a journey into a fantasyland of cake and icing.

Just remember, the next time you pick up the paper and read about His Honor, Mayor David Roberts quelling a mutiny, saving a baby in a run away carriage, or emancipating the minds of our youth, remember; a cupcake could have been the difference.

HobokenSandwich is here to salute those who serve us. And the baked goods that serve them.

(Standard US Mail or UPS/Fedex envelopes will hold up to 8 small cupcakes)

City Hall / Mayors Office
94 Washington Street
Hoboken, NJ
07030

Piccolo's Hoboken - Turkey With a Sweaty Upper Lip

Oooooooooooooooooh Baaaaaaaaaby!!
I got a case of the lipsweats!

World famous for cheesteaks, I hit Piccolos for a little somethin else.

Roasted Turkey with gravy sandwich. Also known as the "Thursday Special".

I like to put a couple cherry peppers on my turkey to give it some personality. Usually peppers are no problem, but I got a doozy that had me sniffling like Lindsay Lohan leaving a house party at the Escobar residence.

Hot peppers are a lot like land wars in Southeast Asia, or the Middle East. Exit strategy is the painful part.

Hoboken Sandwich poops pepper poppers.

Anthony Davids Hoboken - More Meat for My Colon

Just when you thought we were going to get all healthy and moderate in our choice of foods....back to the red meat with a vengeance.

The Hangar Steak Sandwich at Anthony David restaraunt. (pictured with grilled chicken in the foreground) Anthony David is located at the corner of 10th and Bloomfield in Hoboken.

Delicious. The star of this sandwich is the Italian Roll. I love bread that is so crusty that the very act of eating it will tear the roof of your mouth to pieces.

Just a minute ago I was wondering "When did it burn all the skin off the roof of my mouth?". Turns out it was not a pizza burn, but the bread on my sandwich from lunch. It hurts, and I like it.

HobokenSandwich is here to incite sandwich masochism.

Soup - Not just for the homeless anymore!

Thats right! Catch the latest trend in "keepin it real", soup.

Now that the economy is all fixed, people with disposable income are finding new and exciting ways to spend that cash. Soup to the rescue.

Leave it to the marketing gurus on Madison Ave to deliver the latest "super trend" to the masses. Just when the iPhone buzz was beginning to wane, and my friends began asking "How can we be sheep this month?", these masters of mass control have come through with the must have trend of the season.

Just yesterday I was walking up Washington Street feeling self conscious because my sneakers were not as white as the ones they wear on
"Entourage" when I happened by the Frozen Monkey and a "Soup" sign out front. (Frozen Monkey is located between 5th and 6th on Washington Street in Hoboken)

"This could be my ticket back to cool!" I thought. So I sauntered in the door, hoping like mad that I'd get the lingo right when if I tried to order. (There is nothing sadder than someone using outdated vernacular while trying to be hip)

As I strode the length of the establishment I turned my baseball cap around in the hope that it would draw attention away from my sneakers. Finding myself at the counter, I ordered the black bean soup with salsa, and cilantro sour cream.

For a second I was afraid I left my wallet in my skinny jeans,(chillin super gay) but it was actually in the front pocket of my Dickies.(chillin super straight)

So the soup was really good. But even as I tried to take a really long time eating it, nobody walked by and saw me. So I was kind of bummed. I mean, thats like having a really really good hair day and not being able to "bump into" anyone you know to show it off.

So anyway, I am just super pumped up to be out front on this trend. My friends are going to be so pissy about that. Ha. They're sheep.

HobokenSandwich is here to show you how to live your life. The cool way.

Hoboken Sandwich Turns 30!

30 days and I'm not yet entirely bored of taking pictures of sandwiches and making wildly biased commentary about sandwich quality and social significance.

Thank you for your support. And keep sending your sandwich pics to:

sangweech@gmail.com

HobokenSandwich is continuing to be absurd for your reading pleasure. At least until the pharmaceuticals wear off and we realize this is just too asinine for words.

Taking over the sandwich world. And not in a gracious way.

5 Guys Burgers and Fries - Hoboken has a McDonalds

Waay too many complaints about the unprofessional service, pricey/mediocre burgers, crummy fries. In fact the only positive review I heard was from Perry the Puppet on 411.

You must have a great product, a great price or great service. We cant meet a single one of these criteria so far. What a bummer. Lot's of people were excited about getting a 5 Guys, I've had at least 6 conversations with patrons who tell me they will not likely return after disappointing first visits. And at least half these people were previously fans of 5 guys in other locations.

(Nothing creepy about this freak, lets put some kids in his lap.)

2 adults with 2 young children can expect to drop $40 bucks on this mediocrity. Heck, you can do that lots of places with better product. Not fried on a griddle ala Mickey-Friggin D's. Where is the creepy ass clown?

Now, I would like to think they are just getting warmed up. maybe in a month the fries wont suck and the staff will not be reprimanded with F-Bombs in front of the customers. But I can tell you this......the buzz is not good. Not good at all, sober.

However- And this is a big However......

Lots of people are raving about how good it is when you're drunk. So 5 Guys should do a lot of business in this town. And I positively cannot wait to stumble over there after I slam a few bowls of loudmouth soup to see for myself.

I am here to question the taste of sober people.

Lisa's Deli Hoboken - submitted by a fan of HobokenSandwich.com

By Kevin W. a Hoboken resident-

My review of Lisa's Deli

I had the Roast Beef & Mozz w/ roasted peppers. Not a bad effort. Its no Fiore's (or Vito's). Probably a bad order on my part.

They need an upgrade on the bread. They defaulted me to a soft hero, but I think there are some other better bread choices available. The beef was rare, but I like it a bit spicier. The mozz was excellent. The roast peppers are outstanding. Quite garlicy, if you're into that sort of thing. My buddy had the Meatball Parm. He said it was fantabulous. I'm getting it next time I go. Looked quite delectable.

Now thats a spicy meat-a-ball, huh?

Triscuit's are a Motherf*cker!

And that aint the booze talking.

Cheese
and
Triscuits

Melted Cheese
and
Triscuits

Hummous
and
Triscuits

Pepperoni
and
Triscuits

Whipped Philly
Cream Cheese
and
Triscuits

Get down with the Triscuits

HobokenSandwich supports the Cracker Arts. (not a euphemism for whitey)

M and P Biancamano Deli - Hoboken

M and P Biancamano Deli is located between 11th and 12th on Washington Street in Hoboken. What a great deli.

Soft or crisp italian bread and obnoxiously obscene portions make this a must-have stop on your personal sandwich tour.

I ordered the "B" sandwich on the menu board.

Ham
Salami
Roast Beef
Roasted Peppers
Fresh Mutz
on a Crispy Italian Roll
(pictured)

My friend got:

Turkey
Roasted Peppers
Fresh Mutz
on a Soft Italian Roll

These sangweeches are friggin huge.
So hit this place when you are in a "go big or go home" kind of mood. Or when you have a terminal case of the munchies. You know, the type of hell bent for leather kind of appetite instilled by hard work, fasting, or a Bob Marley sized joint.

M&P Biancamano brings the quality. Truth.



Watch'u talkin bout, HobokenSandwich?!?

A Hero Ain't Nothin But a Sandwich

Need I say more? The relevance is clear.


HobokenSandwich is here to bring a tear to your eye.

Clear and Present Sandwich Danger - Spies in Nova Scotia

Dateline.....
October 7th, 2008 - Halifax, Nova Scotia

Hoboken Sandwich, working in concert with other security agencies has identified a Clear and Present Danger to national sandwich security and life as we know it.

The majority of visitors to HobokenSandwich.com originate in the NYC metro area. With the exeption of outliers in Portland OR, and North Palm Beach, FL, there should not be any visitors from foreign shores. We designed it that way!

As you can see, there are 2 visits from the land of "Who Knows What?" on the day in question.

So you tell me, am I supposed to sit back while "those people" collect data on our sandwiches and the very fabric of Americana? I should think not.

I have written a letter to my congressman. (Who is currently under investigation for ethics violations.)

My guess is this will entitle me to several billion dollars in Homeland "Security" funding.

HobokenSandwich is here to protect the world from "Those People". You know who I mean. Yeah, you know......

5 Guys - Reports from the Front Line

5 Guys is open and getting their feet wet. Good reviews on the burgers. Bad reviews on the soggy fries from multiple sources. Though I say dont judge the fries till the oil is dirty. This place is only 4 days open, so the oil is quite clean.


Our analysts are buying 5 Guys burgers, but selling 5 Guys Fries until the production becomes consistant.

And finally:
Let's try and keep our shift managers from dropping F-Bombs (or profanity in general) while reprimanding employees. (10/2/2008 creepy)

5 Guys is located between 3rd and 4th Streets on Washington Street in Hoboken.

Big - Burger King Commercial - The most popular videos are a click away

See the video for a dramatization of the event.
I am here to expose the rough edges around a sandwich.

La Isla Sandwich - A cornucopia of deliciousness

Listen up people. I'm going to say this one time and one time only.

Breakfast at LaIsla is just like breakfast at McDonalds!



Similarity #1
Deeeeeeelicious!

Similarity #2
They stop serving breakfast at 11am.

Ok, that is about the extent of the similarity. But you and I both know that McDonalds breakfast is a #1 Happy Time, Super Joy Joy, American style delight.

Having agreed on that..............

La Isla is the same sort of feeling. Only without the inclination to run home and shower with a brillo pad afterwards.

Look at that sandwich in the picture. Study it. Learn it's moods. Digest it with your eyes. It is visceral, sexual even. Gorgeous!

The image alone is enough to make my stool slightly firmer.


The Skinny:
Whole grain bread
Avocado
Tomato
Bacon
Egg
And a load of chopped red onion

The official review:
I could eat 2 in a sitting no problem. And I am not a big eater in the morning. But this sandwich is probably the healthiest menu item I have reviewed to date. That fact in itself was kind of nice. I felt like a grownup when I ordered it.

Texture.
This sandwich is all about texture. A glance at the ingredients and you know only a douche could ruin this recipe, but it is the texture that grabbed me. Crisp bacon, creamy avocado, tangy tomato, and the kicker being the ordinarily frowend upon multi-grain bread.

Though it does give me pause to note a sandwich with bacon and egg is my "healthy highlight" of 2008.

On that topic, we've been toying with the idea of measuring my cholesterol on a weekly basis, but I dont want to forfeit any of my term life coverage when that graph begins to take shape in the left column. Picture the inverse of the Dow Jones Industrials. (for you visiting space people reading this in the far off future check your Earth history to grasp that Earth humor, and, nanoo, nanoo, bleeeg)

La Isla Cafeteria is located near the corner of 1st and Washington Streets in Hoboken, NJ.

Where else Papi, Cuba?

HobokenSandwich is here to tell you that if you dont know , you betta' axe somebody for chrissakes.

Bacon and Cheese Toasties - McSwiggins Hoboken

The weather has begun leaning towards winter. But, at McSwiggins on First and Bloomfield it is springtime and love is in the air.

"How can this be?" you ask. "The bacon and cheese toasty." I reply.

From January 7 through September 25th, 2008 there was no love. No golden warmth to draw two strangers together in a common bond. In short, there was no bacon and cheese toasty from McSwiggins.
(locals' in the know pronounce it- "McSwiffins")

If you take whitebread, bacon, and cheese together it is not a bad thing, but when you smash it and toast it a golden brown............well that is just a little bit of Fat American Heaven.

Simple carbs, fat, cholesterol. The "Joe Sixpack" trifecta.

The toasty is available in several versions:

Bacon and cheese
Ham and cheese
or classic Cheese


The official review:

The toasty is a terrible, wonderful treat.

Definitely a 1 on a scale of 5.
Which is exactly what a toasty should be
(anything more would not be a toasty)


I'm here to help Joe Sixpack work his way to an angiogram.